7/28 Class Reflection

After today's class I am left with a lot to ponder. Time for reflection has commenced. Growing up in high school as an openly gay male, the subject of homosexuality was never discussed in the classroom setting. Even the most liberal teachers who would speak about social justice for days seemed to forget about me and my experience. It was clear that students were not welcoming to the idea of homosexuality, and even many teachers implicitly shared their opinions through overtly masculine jokes and insensitive comments with ignorant students. Even by ignoring a student in the hallway yelling "Sup Faggot?" was to me an open permission for this type of behavior to be carried out. If students see this kind of behavior from within the school where are they to turn? If teachers are scared/uncomfortable in speaking about these themes, the situation is of hopeless despair for a student desperately seeking a safe space. If there is no safe space, where does the student turn? The student will start viewing him or herself as unworthy, an untouchable, an unwanted social outcast that doesn't deserve a space.

These are the realities countless children are facing from within the school system. These are the experiences that are fueling the growing number of teen suicides. How do we stop it? Reading books to young children is great and all, and teaching history is certainly giving a voice to a silenced group. But as a high school teacher what are the best ways to approach presenting these themes and presenting my own identity to my students? In terming my homosexual orientation as my "personal life" isn't this only fortifying the misconstrued ties of a gay identity and sexual activity? Is being gay a practice I carry out outside of school? Or is it an experience and perspective my students need to be exposed to? I have no intention of getting in front of a room and stating "Hi, I am your gay teacher Mr. Jensen," but I feel as though to truly know myself and create an open, liberated classroom this is going to have to come out one way or another. Is this not true? One's race and ethnicity is not considered one's personal life, however one's sexual orientation is. I don't know if this is right or not, but I can surely see both sides of this reality.

The thing that has me the most worried is the amount of sheer hate and violence surrounding this topic. Acts of beating, killing, and suicide occur on a regular basis because of fear of homosexuality. Fear of sex, fear of losing one's masculinity, and fear of love drive men and women to openly hate homosexuals. I am afraid that in this environment not much can be done. Like I said, a lot to ponder. For now, just reflecting.